Assertiveness

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Assertiveness is the quality of being confident and confident without being aggressive. In the field of psychology and psychotherapy, it is a skill and a mode of communication that can be learned. Dorland Medical Diction defines assertiveness as:

a form of behavior characterized by a statement of confidence or assertion of a statement without the need for proof; this affirms the rights or point of view of a person without aggressively threatening the rights of others (assuming domination positions) or dutifully allowing others to ignore or deny one's rights or point of view.

During the second half of the 20th century, assertiveness was increasingly chosen as behavioral skills taught by many personal development experts, behavioral therapists, and cognitive behavior therapists. Firmness is often associated with self-esteem. Terms and concepts popularized to the general public by books such as Your Perfect Right: A Guide to Assertive Behavior (1970) by Robert E. Alberti and Michael L. Emmons and When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: How to Overcome the Use of Systemic Critical Therapeutic Skills (1975) by Manuel J. Smith.

Video Assertiveness

Training

Joseph Wolpe originally explored the use of firmness as a means of "reciprocal inhibition" anxiety, in his 1958 book about treating neurosis; and since then it has been commonly used as an intervention in behavioral therapy. The Assertiveness Training ("AT") was introduced by Andrew Salter (1961) and popularized by Joseph Wolpe. Wolpe's belief is that one can not be assertive and anxious at the same time, and thus being assertive will inhibit anxiety. The goals of firmness training include:

raises awareness of private rights
differentiation between non-assertive and firmness
the differentiation between passive aggressiveness and aggressiveness
learn verbal and non-verbal assertiveness skills.

As a style of communication and strategy, assertiveness is thus distinguished from aggression and passivity. How people deal with personal boundaries, theirs and those of others, helps to distinguish these three concepts. Passive communicators do not defend their own personal boundaries and thus allow aggressive people to abuse or manipulate them through fear. Passive communicators are also usually not at risk of trying to influence others. An aggressive person does not respect the personal boundaries of others and thus tends to harm others when trying to influence them. A person communicates firmly by overcoming fear to speak his mind or try to influence others, but to do so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of others. Assertive people also want to defend themselves against aggressive people.

Maps Assertiveness

Communications

Firm communication involves respecting the boundaries of self and others. It also considers an interest in meeting needs and wants through cooperation.

According to the textbook of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (2008), "Assertive communication of personal opinions, needs, and limits has been... conceptualized as a behavioral order, lies between an ineffective passive and aggressive response". Such communication "emphasizes expressing feelings frankly, but in a way that will not turn into aggression".

If someone else's actions threaten someone's limits, someone communicates this to prevent escalation.

Instead, "aggressive communication" judges, threatens, lies, breaks trust, stonewalls, and breaks the boundaries of others.

At the dialectical end is "passive communication". Victims can passively allow others to break their boundaries. Other times, they may come back and attack with the right sense of impunity or anger.

Striking communication seeks to transcend these extremes by attracting interest with all parties; it "focuses on the problem, not the person". Aggressive and/or passive communication, on the other hand, can mark the end of a relationship, and reduce self-esteem.

Developing Assertiveness Skills - North & Western Lancashire ...

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Characteristics

Assertive people tend to have the following characteristics:

They feel free to express their feelings, thoughts, and desires.
They "can also start and maintain a comfortable relationship with other people"
They know their rights.
They control their anger. This does not mean that they suppress this feeling; it means they control anger and talk about it in a sensible way.
"Assertive people... are willing to compromise with others, rather than always want their own way... and tend to have good self-esteem".
"Assertive people enter friendships from 'I calculate my needs I calculate the position of your needs'.

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Technique

The technique of assertiveness can vary greatly. Manuel Smith, in his 1975 book When I Say No, I Feel Guilty , offers some of the following behaviors:

Record broken

The "broken record" technique consists of simply repeating your request or your rejection each time you encounter a rejection. The term is derived from a vinyl tape, a surface that when scratched will lead the recording player needle to the loop for the same few seconds of unlimited recording. "As the record is broken, the key to this approach is repetition... where your partner will not receive an answer."

The disadvantage with this technique is that when the resistance continues, your request can lose power every time you have to repeat it. If a request is repeated too often, it can backfire over the authority of your words. In this case, there needs to be some sanctions in hand.

Fogging

Fogging consists of finding some limited truths to agree with what the antagonists are saying. More specifically, a person may agree to agree in principle.

Negative Request

Negative investigations consist of further requests, more specific criticism.

Negative statement

A negative statement is a deal with criticism without lowering demand.

I-statement

Statement-I can be used to voice someone's feelings and desires from a personal position without revealing judgments about others or blaming someone's feelings for them.

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Apps

Several studies have identified assertiveness training as a useful tool in preventing alcohol use disorders. General psychological skills including assertiveness and social skills have been proposed as interventions for various disorders with some empirical support.

In relation to gender theory, "Tannen argues that men and women alike benefit from learning to use other people's styles... So, women will benefit from assertive training just as men might benefit from sensitivity training".

Assertive Communication (Worksheet) | Therapist Aid

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Criticism

Assertiveness can be practiced in an imbalanced way, especially by those new to the process: "[One] problem with the concept of assertiveness is that it is complex and situation-specific.... The assertive behavior in one situation may not be so in another ". More specifically, while "court displeasure a set of problems, exaggerated firmness creates another." Manual assertiveness recognizes that "many people, while trying assertiveness for the first time, find that they are acting too far and being aggressive."

In the late 1970s and early 1980s, in the heyday of assertiveness training, some of the so-called assertive training techniques were distorted and "people were told to do some pretty irritating things on behalf of assertiveness.Such as empty repeating multiple recurring requests until you get your way ". Divorced from respect for the rights of others, so-called assertiveness techniques can be psychological tools that may be easily misused: The line between repeatedly demanding with sanctions ("broken records") versus coercive coercion, emotional blackmail, or bullying can be a good one, and caricature of assertiveness training as "training on how to get your own way... or how to be as aggressive as the next person" is enshrined.